its killing me..

well its killing me eventhough i've said that im done over this. you don't care about me. i just want to be happy like how i used to be a year ago. why do guys like this exist and approach me. 😭😢 you are like dying to get me at first and now you don't even think about me. worst is you flirt with other girls while im with you 😢 i am super upset. when i told you i really in love with you, you thought i was joking.. only Allah knows im not. hais

hmm

hey its been long since i blog? well i've not been busy but im lazy so here i am 😁 so how am i doing? been great i guess but at times i feel down cause of mood swings i guess 👀 im not very good when it comes to sad news or something negative.. it can lead to depression 😅 but so far im doing fine since my friends are here for me love you all 😘😘 anyway, To "awak" im avoiding you for the best cause whenever you talk to me i feel like i've fallen for you again but its all one sided so what for? i feel like a fool. if you care you will double text me or call me.. so i am not important to you so yeah better off like this ok? thank you for the good memories ☺ to end this i would like to apologise to all my friends for misunderstood in any ways Assalammualaikum w.b.t 😌

While reading my old posts.. It was stupid of me to be sad and pathetic omai.. Not that im saying im happy and all now but somehow i don't deserve to be sad for a guy like you..so long chubby ~ 

...

Seeing other people's happiness is killing me because I'm feeling like shit. where do i go wrong? regret? oh yes :( what have i done. I'm on my own now. its hard for me. I'm just a bother to everyone. I'm just annoying to everyone. people hated me. I'm weak and useless. i don't know why negative thoughts is in my mind now. I guess there's no other ways to feel better.

Don't judge me.

Take a moment to read. I know i have my own mistakes but im a person i am like others too. I hate it when people treating me in a way that i can't accept. Do you ever think treating me this way will help me to change? It won't. When i cried, they called me a crybaby. Really?! Yes i am cause i need to let go of this emotions sometimes. I am not joking when i say that i need to cry. I wish people would understand me. That is why i cried when the night comes or when there's no one. Its silly but its better to let me be alone. No i don't cry over the breakup thingy. I love you all my friends and families no matter how much you guys have hated me behind my back. I am adapting to my new life. Thank you. 

hi :) firstly im not feeling really well due to flu and sore throat :( and i only sleep for 4 hours or less. that is the reason why im sick and not getting better :( the other reason is that i over-stressed. i don't get it why am i always be the pathetic one and powerless one in my family example when bedtime, i always get the corner and not enough space. i can barely feel the wind and will tend to be awake at random hours cause its stuffy :/ i can't even complain about it cause im powerless. is this what it feels like to be a loser? idk why my other siblings complain its so stuffy :/ the next thing is that about health.. i've been suffering backbone problems since im 11 years old and if i have back pains i won't complain cause i know it will go away sooner or later. i can't do sit and reach and can't carry heavy loads too. people make fun of me because im out of shape (body tilting) im srry i can't be perfect :( i even have big belly  and pimple face.. but at least i dare to face people and please stop judging me :'( i can't repair everything at once.. shit i even teared now.. its good that im strong. strong enough to continue to walk on rather than falling apart. remember mind your words. i will work hard to be pretty even though its impossible to. i've been suffering from this since im 13. hwaiting haz you can do this :) byebye :)

kanashimi

im feeling down at the moment :/ how i wish someone just be nice for me :( please... im begging you :( im tired of being sad and lonely :(

I miss this girl!!!! im like in love with her LOL! meet up soon Qira <3 she so cute >.<

Hello hello ^^ tomorrow will be the first day we Muslims start to fast :) Happy Fasting People :D anyways i shouldn't be here blogging cause i have journal to settle but oh well i'm bored and waiting for Bf to come home T-T im stuck at Leadership for my journal and i think i should start on my holidays :/ i should have done it earlier so i can watch movie! hais! and i just bought phone cover and jumper suit today :/ im wasting my money again~ and next pay i have to save to buy Sims 3 T-T wahhh asdfghjklzxcvbnm!! k, i have to go....maybe continue typing :'( and have to sleep early today cause tmrw need to wake up at 5 :(!! Sayounara!

hmm

my heart its beating really fast..i wonder why and i have no appetite these days :( why am i feeling this way? i guess im gonna lose weight~